Monday, November 3, 2008

Zac Efron is SO freakin' gay!

I don't hate gay people. I applaud them. My cousin is gay, and trust isn't an easy road to plow (pun intended). What I hate are these quasi straight guys (see photo inset of Zac "I want king sized wiener in my ass" Efron) prancing around Hollywood with their beards (see photo of Efron's Girlfriend "beard" Vanessa Hudgens here) acting like they are cool with the poon when we ALL know they are lusting for the peen.
You cannot be THAT groomed as a man and still want your tube steak smothered in fish sauce. It isn't possible. Being that groomed means you haven't seen a vagina since birth...and it's by choice. I'm not saying he is ugly. No...he is handsome in a really disturbing 1950's mannequin sort of gay way. Dude...he needs to man up. If he IS straight...he needs to drop wearing the make-up. No one has skin as perfect as that...the maybelline just has to stop.

If you want to do the "metro" thing, try takinga que from our resident sexy metro male, Ed Westwick... You cant go wrong with a smug grin, slightly rumpled suit...and a 5 o'clock shadow. While the slightly gay haircut might keep us guessing on your sexual preference, the rest of your get up sends "sex me up" signals and usually our X chromosones will respond accordingly and we will worship your hairy nads.

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