Friday, October 31, 2008

When I Grow Up...

...I do NOT want to look like Pamela Anderson... Well, at least she has a built in Halloween Costume, right?

WTF Happened to Boy George???

I know Boy George has always had"unusual" look...but come on...WTF happened here? Where did his effing chin go? Is he ill? If he is ill, I'm sorry. Truly, I am. If he is healthy...WTF happened to his effing chin?

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year!!
I hope all of you get oodles of candy and take part in all the naughtiness you can tonight!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Most Pedophilic Doll Ever

Awhile back I saw this video of a doll that sells overseas that pees. No biggie, right? Wrong. This doll's penis raises, yes...I said raise...and then pees. It's as if the doll gets and erection and then...well, you get the idea. To make the commericial even more uncomfortable, the doll ends up peeing on the fathers face....yeah... Check out the second video for the funnier version.

This Is Just Wrong - Watch more free videos

If Obama had picked this cat as his running mate

...perhaps I'd consider voting for him...

Dean Martin Still King of Cool

No, this isn't a news post about some long forget yet still juicey piece of gossip about Dean Martin. I just got in the mood for his tunes today and my senses were washed with his coolness. Why is no one as cool and suave as he anymore? The closest thing we have is Michael Buble and lets be honest, he just isn't Dean Martin or Frank Sinatra. Don't get me wrong, I like Michael...but he lacks the inherit coolness of those men from yesteryear who did what they wanted and didn't give a damn who watched. ...and (besides my husband) Dean is one of the only smokers who makes the act of huffing tobacco smoke look cool...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Your Monica Bellucci Photos Of The Day

Yes, its another about her holiness, the patron saint of female hotness, Monica Bellucci. She is seen here at a recent movie opening...but I failed to get the titled as I was mesmerized by her big ta tas and lip gloss laden pout. Soooooo not fair that she got all the mega hotness genes and I didn't. *sigh*

Jen Aniston and Gerard Butler?

I keep hearing crap that Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are making bump uglies together. Ok I just really wanted to report on this boring piece of gossip so I could post this image of Gerard. I hear he's a pretty big man whore...and by big I hope they mean sizable...heh heh.

Christina Aguilera Needs a New Look

I'm all for creative crap. Hell, I'm an artist...I've been known to smear some black stripes on my face and prance around like the undead.
I keep seeing images of Christina Aguilera looking vaguely female. I say this because it's hard to tell if it is really her or a tranny pretending to BE her. Nothing wrong with performance art, more power to know what I mean.

I saw this frame of Xtina from her new video "Keeps Gettin' Better"...Ok...she's gone too far. She is the stuf of tranny infested nightmares now.

Monday, October 27, 2008

When Women Get Bored

There are some things that my mother sends via email that really make me laugh...this is one of them...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


I found this photo over at Dlisted. All I have to say is...WTF is THAT in the background? I'm seriously sleeping with the lights on tonight.

Edison Chen Sex Scandal

There are few gossip bits that make me rub my hands together in glee, but this is one of them. Edison Chen (seen far left in the photo) apparently has a sex tape with some of the biggest stars in Hong Kong Cinema. Who? Well, Gillian Cheung (GASP!), Cecilia Cheung, and I've even heard talk that there could be images of Carina Lau (I always new she wasn't good enough for Tony Leung CW!).
So what do the images show?

well, in one someone resembling Gillian Cheung has her knocker hanging out of her bikini top and her legs spread. In another photos Edison goes down on her.
Yet Another photo shows someone looking like Bobo Chan (Chen's EX) going down on HIM (I'd like to see that one).
Lastly, someone looking like Cecilia Cheung posing nude in a bathroom with another person.

While this may be standard fare for American stars, HK stars are not to quick to pull a Paris Hilton. Edison Chen was in Boston when this hit and released this statement:
yes i have been silent and everyone thinks i am hiding but today there will be a press release and i hope u can all read from that and report the TRUTH and do some homework before trying to ruin someone’s life, cuz that is exactly whut u are all doing to me putting false statements on the FRONT PAGE sex photo scandal ever of newspapers and to others as well

Some reports have come in that Gillian Cheung has attempted suicide due to this scandal. Edison has reportedly has quit showbiz and released THIS statement:
I am deeply sorry... I admit most of the photos being circulated on the Internet were taken by me. I would like to apologize to all the ladies and to all their families for any harm or hurt that they have been feeling. I'm sorry... Most importantly, I would like to say sorry to all the people in Hong Kong. I give my apologies sincerely to you all, unreservedly and with my heart. These photos were very private... They were never intended to be shown to anyone. They were stolen from me and distributed without my consent. I know young people in Hong Kong look up to many figures in our society... I've failed as a role model. However I wish that this matter will teach everyone a lesson... To all the young people in our community, let this be a lesson for you all. This is not an example to be set for you. During my time away, I've made an important decision. I will wholeheartedly fulfil all commitments that I have to date. But, after that, I’ve decided to step away from the Hong Kong entertainment industry. I've decided to do this to give myself an opportunity to heal myself and to search my soul... I will be away from Hong Kong entertainment indefinitely. There is no time frame. I have been assisting the police since the first day the photos were published, and I will continue to assist them. After this press con, I have obligations to help them with their investigation... I hope all of you will accept my apology and give me a chance.

Ok, first off...its just a little cooch and weiner. It's not like he sacrificed any babies to satan!

Phoebe Price is the Anti-Christ

I've seen way too many photos of this "woman" and I still have no idea why she is famous...clearly she is the anti-christ. *note to the anti-christ: if you want to pass yourself off as a redhead, stay out the sun...the huge freckles are just icky*

Guy Ritchie Reacts to Divorce and No Sex

Guy Ritchie (seen here getting boozed up for his 40th Bday bash) looks to be pretty damn happy to not have to cuddle up to he-she Mandonna any longer. Word is that Mandonna was so obsessed with working out her cadaverous body that she had no time for sex. Would you go 18 months with no sex? Ok Ok...would you go 18 month with no sex if your wife wasn't Mandonna?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Madonna Cries Abuse!

Mandonna (no I didn't mispell that, we all know she is a man) is claiming that Guy Ritchie emotionally and physically abused her. Of course, I don't condone any abuse of any kind (to the wife OR husband)...but lets me honest...SOMEONE had to have beat the bitch with an ugly stick.

I Hate Jenna Jamison

Yes, this is another, "I hate this effing skank, why is she pregnant and not me" post. Jenna Jamison is more plastic than flesh, how the hell did she have an egg that wasn't sunny side up already? Aren't STDs supposed to make you infertile? grrrrrr

NASA Ice Ice Baby

First off, my bro works for NASA and has a brain the size of Jupiter. It's so large is pulsates with the knowledge we mere humans are not ready to understand.

That being said, he also has a kick ass sense of humor. He sent me this link to a youtube video created by some co-op students who work there at JSC.

Tara Reid Has A Raisin Butt

We all have days when we look in the mirror and say Holy Fuck! My body looks like THAT!> I often dream what it would be like to have a band of handlers to make sure my ass cleavage is covered and no boogers were stuck to the tip of my nose, so it's with great shock that I see photos like this of a star where their ass looks like that shriveled up mummy lady (see Below). Did NO ONE think to tell her that maybe a pair of shorts would be good? Moreover, did no one tell her to use some of her cash to buy a new ass? Come on, I know what it's like to have a flabby no good ass...if I had money I'd buy a new one.

Palin For President

Saturday Night Live proved to be pretty damn funny...and well, Palin was suprisingly at ease in front of the cameras. Gotta love it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Katie Holmes Hearts Scientology

I used to like Katie Holmes before she started letting that asshole Tom Cruise bone her...then turn her into a Scientology whore. Now I hate her even more because she wore this hideous outfit to the Broadway premiere of her show All My Sons . Dude, what the hell? Is she trying out for the Redux of Golden Girls?? Has anyone else noticed that since she's been with Scientology's annoited one she has started dressing like an old woman on a cruise? WTF?

On a more humrous note, the other photos are of the anti-Scientology group Anonymous. They showed up at the premiere touting signs designed to break Katie out of her zombie trance. Sadly, the police pushed them down the street but onlookers say you could still hear their shouts as Katie hobbled in on her cane.

Did I mention I hate Tom Cruise?

Proof That Cats Are Evil

It's no secret that I'm a dog lover. Cats hate me...they attack me...and thus I dont like cats all that much. Don't get me wrong, I dont want them roasted on a spicket over a fire...but I keep my distance from them if I can.
It's also no secret that I'm an insomniac. So when I see a time lapsed video of hour cats NEVER freakin' sleep and make you toss and turn all night...well, its just another chalk mark on the the side of the board that says "Cats are evil".

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Note To Britney: Don't Forget To Shave Yer Pits

We all forget to shave our pits now and again, but let's be honest. If we had a band of "handlers" making sure our asses didn't stink, no boogers were in our nose, and we had panties on you'd think they'd remember to tell Britney Spears to shave her damn armpits!

Jennifer Love Hewitt Almost Topless

This is a completely gratuitous post showing Jennifer Love Hewitt's nips almost making a daring escape from her dress. This is as close as you are going to get to ever seeing her knockers Steve (Steve would be my husband for those of you not in the know)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Madonna is a Man... Mandonna?

There are some things that women should do of them is to age. If you refuse to do it gracefully you end up looking like Madonna. I know she works her ass off for that body...but if I saw her on the street I'd plead with her to stop. It's HORRID.

Is being manly the new fad? I'd like to say no..but then I saw this image of Madonna's upper lip.

La Pequeña Sarah Palin

This shit is supposed to be funny but it weirds me the frick out...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why You Shouldn't Get Butt Implants - Watch more free videos

WTF Were They Thinking?!!

While reading Famous Plastic today, I came across these freakish twins. Seriously, WTF is up with that dudes chin? Their cheeks? WTF were they thinking? Visit Famous Plastic to read more about them.

I Hate Diet Coke's New Bottle Caps

I know some of you will think this is retarded, but I cant hold my tongue any longer. Diet Coke is a huge part of my life. It sits on a hallowed shrine right next to my Korean BBQ. I drink so much of the stuff that I actually have a callus on my right hand from opening the bottles. Yes, I realize I have a problem...but I'm happy with my addiction so don't go scheduling an intervention cuz I will not being going into rehab.
Back to my point, has anyone noticed that they've changed the bottle caps? I spend almost as much time trying to put the damn caps back on the bottles as I do drinking the stuff. It pisses me off multiple times per you know what I did? I complained. This is what I got back:

Thank you for contacting The Coca-Cola Company, Ms. P-. We sincerely appreciate your candid feedback regarding our packaging.
We apologize for any inconvenience experienced with our packaging. When evaluating a package, we consider many factors. Most important are those relating to safety and to the environment.
As a consumer-oriented Company, we're challenged to appeal to as many consumers in our vast target market as possible. Your constructive criticism helps us know when we're not successful in accomplishing this difficult task.
Your feedback is very important to us, and we have shared your comments with our Packaging Department. Should you have additional questions or comments, please feel free to contact us again.
Industry and Consumer Affairs
The Coca-Cola Company

In other words they don't give a shit. Seriously, if I could kick the Diet Coke habit I would...I'd switch to Diet Pepsi if I thought I could handle the horrid taste. At least THEIR bottle caps weren't designed by 'tards.

Don't Make An Ass Outta Yerself

I've got a big ass, I know it. I also know how to camoflauge it so that the rest of humanity doesn't have to suffer at the expense of my lardness. Now I'm not saying Serena Williams is a lard ass. I know she isn't...but lord girl...warn us before you go out to the beach with a bikini bottom on!
My biggest beef with her (no pun intended) is that she looks so in too buff. I'm all for being in shape, but when you've got ovaries you should probably stop working out when you start to grow your very own adam's apple. ...I'm just sayin'...

WTF were they thinking?

This blog being new and all I figure I should explain this post before I go any further. "WTF were they thinking" is a common phrase that pops into my head when I see "celebrities" in what they like to call "clothing" but really constitutes stylized vomit. Seriously, they have stylists...WTF?
This is Natalie Bassingthwaighte, the host of the Aussie version of "So, You Think You Can Dance?". Seriously people, WTF is up with her choice of foot wear? It looks like she wrapped her legs in black shoe laces and slapped on some sandal heels. WTF was she thinking? Honestly.

Tara Reid is Retarded

I'll admit, there are times when I think people are a bit harsh when it comes to the intelligence of Tara Reid. I mean, 95% of us have never met her...and she really couldn't be that dumb, right?
She was asked at an event the other day why she hadn't been in movies for some time. I know what you're thinking. She took time off to relax (and by relax I mean party and get really bad lipo). She um....well, claims the writer strike is keeping her out of the biz. You know, the writer's strike that ended months ago only Tara thinks its still on?
“I totally plan to go back into acting once the strike stops,” Reid told Pop Tarts last week at Eva Longoria-Parker’s Padres Contra El Cancer’s 8th Annual “El Sueno De Esperanza” benefit gala in Hollywood. “The economy is so bad right now that people are afraid to put money back into acting. Even the shows that seem new, they really shot six months ago. So when it’s all back up again, I will go back into it. That’s my heart.” Tara. I think she forgot to get back on the Short Bus after the party.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Keira Knightley Tits Are A Let Down

I'll be the first female in the room to admit when someone has great tits (see Monica Bellucci), but when I saw Keira Knightley's decidely unsexy knockers I was...well...she didn't raise my flag...even to half mast.

I'll admit, I like the skinny girls (with the acception of the goddess Monica Bellucci). What I don't like are moobs with nipples so large they'll poke your eyes when you go in for a closer look.

On another be fair, since i already showed some boobs (or in this case moobs) Did you
ever wonder what James Bond's weiner looked like? Ok, me either, but I'm sure someone has...

Mother's Cookies No More!

Remember those horrid animal cracker cookies covered in some form of lard based frosting? Well, your kids wont remember them because the company is going under.
My mom eats these on a regular basis, which makes their name rather ironic for me. Mother's has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and the plants in Ohio and Canada are going the way of black holes (meaning they'll suck the economic life out of the surrounding towns--*did you see my geek joke there? I'm good*)
I'm not sure if I'm going to tell my mom about this because I can see her running out and buying 50 bags of these horrid things.

I Wish Her Yoga Kept Her Infertile

I know this shouldn't piss me it should. This skank is apparently knocked up again. First off, if any of you should wonder, any bitch getting pregnant is going to piss me off. Why? Cuz I'm have a mutha fucka of a time getting knocked up and all these human rejects have to do is fart on a dick and they end up pregnant.
These are just rumors being passed off as fact, as always...but she already pushed out one brat...and she IS a she probably is pregnant again.
Ugh, I hate her. *pout*

Hong Kong Memories and Narcotic Dreams

Occasionally I remember the days when I used to run multiple websites dedicated the drivel (i.e. Gossip) coming out of the Hong Kong cinema scene and I end up weeping like a baby when you take away its binkie.
I dedicated thousands of hours to building and promoting these sites and what do I have to show for it today? Nothing. I did a random search today looking for the old sister sites that I would hunt thru to pilfer news to pass off as my own. You know what I found? Nothing. I couldn't even find one of them still up and running. Even Tony Leung Chiu Wai's "largest non official site" is no longer owned and run by the same gal. It's since lost its original flavor, and hence I stopped visiting.
I miss those days. The days in which I spent 7 odd hours of my employers time building my site rather than doing the collections work I was hired for. I don't even know if the HK crowd ever forgave Ekin for cheating on his GF or if Nic Tse is still banging Ms. Robinson (i.e. Faye Wong). These things are some 10 years old...and I just feel old now.
So...I'm blogging now...or again...because thats all my old site really used to be. Well any news site back then was really a blog before we had blog sites. We'd create hastily patched together HTML and post the news (er...gossip) items as fast as we could. It didn't matter that 90% of us were stealing from the same HK news source. The real goal was to see who could post their stolen news fastest. On those rare mornings when I posted them first I would bask in the sweet nectar of triumph...and then promptly try to do it all over again.

So, the question must be asked...why am I doing this again? Easy...I'm not in the mood to work any more (or very much at the very least) so I'm posting this blog whilst I should be billing Medicare. Oh the joys of being a slacker...